So lets start at the beginning. My very first nursing experience was on the afternoon of June 30th. My son, Isaac, had been born about an hour before and I was eager to get him to the breast. I fully intended to nurse him although at that time I was not well supported in my efforts. He was a sleepy baby, and I was a tired and worn out mama after a 54 hour labor marathon. I had delivered him naturally, the only real invasive intervention had been a very invasive episiotomy. We had latch problems from the start and it was a very painful and trying journey those first few months. Finally at 4mths we were over a thrush episode and he was waking regularly and latching well. It was bliss. I can't tell you what helped me to persevere during those long four months, other than a sheer determination and stubborn spirit. I never gave myself any other option, even with that free can of formula hidden in the back of the pantry, I just knew I had to breastfeed and I just knew it had to get better. After that four month milestone nursing was easy and wonderful. Being uneducated and unsupported about breastfeeding I did take the advice of our pediatrician at the time and breastfeed on a schedule from 2weeks on. Every three hours like clockwork I put him to the breast and he ate, I always made sure to nurse equally on each side, starring the clock down during each feeding. Our whole lives revolved around the nursing and sleeping schedules. I was not comfortable with public nursing so I made sure to be somewhere private when the feeding time came around. It wasn't until 8mths of age that Isaac had his first taste of formula. I was suffering from food poison and in no condition to nurse after hour 12 of vomiting. I asked Nat to get that can of formula that was still hiding out in the back of the pantry and make him a bottle. After that the formula was just an easy fix to things, I was never into pumping so the formula finally gave me the freedom to get out, it wasn't often but every once and while he gulped down a bottle. Since I had always fed on a schedule, Isaac only ever nursed for hunger, never for comfort. As we introduced solids nursing became much less frequent, and by the time he was a year we were down to one morning nursing session. On his first birthday he skipped that feeding and never nursed from my breast again. I was heartbroken.
When I became pregnant the second time I was fortunate enough to be exposed to a much more supportive breastfeeding environment. I met mothers still nursing toddlers and saw first hand the benefits to an extended breastfeeding relationship. I knew at that time that I would not introduce a breastfeeding schedule but rather I would offer the breast often and nurture a long term breastfeeding relationship with this new baby. And that is exactly what I did. Aralyn was born on the morning of October 29th, after another long labor, in a pool of water in the comfort of our home. She took to the breast after 8min and was a champion nurser. We were off to a wonderful start, with none of the obstacles I had faced the first time around. I never once looked at a clock while nursing her, it was an easy and effortless process.
To me breastfeeding is a gift that I give my daughter. While I do enjoy breastfeeding, it has it's moments of annoyance. However there is never a time when I wish for her to wean completely. There is a selfish desire to continue the close relationship, to savor the skin to skin contact and moments of simplicity, a time when the breast still fixes everything. My main motivation, however, comes from her insistence. Watching her thrive on a daily basis is confirmation enough that I am doing the right thing. The fact that she says thank you after most feedings is enough to keep me going for a long time coming.
For those out there who are concerned I simply want to ask you a question; What harm am I bringing to my daughter by continuing to nurse her past what has become a "normal" age?
Is it harmful to her health? She has never needed an antibiotic in her first two years of life, there have been no tubes necessary in her ears, no allergy meds giving on a daily basis, she has only be given Tylenol twice in two years! The few times she has been sick it has passed relatively quickly and without much incidence.
Is it hurting her sense of autonomy? She has never had separation anxiety. She makes friends easily and enjoys time spent away from her momma. I have never had to pry a crying baby from my arms to get out of the house, and I do get out of the house often. She sleeps most of the night in her own big girl bed, and she on occasion plays by herself.
Is it harmful to her independence? She does most everything for herself, she started using the potty at 1yr and was completely out of diapers at 18mths. She butters her own toast, picks up her toys, dresses herself, and makes many decisions for herself.
Is it spoiling her rotten? She says please and thank you for just about everything, she helps mommy with chores, she shares with her brother, and she plays nicely with others.
I am just not seeing the problem, maybe that is just because I am weird, abnormal, crunchified, or whatever. Well maybe that is the case and so be it, I am happy to be that mother, and I hope to continue this tend for some time to come. So please while I understand you are faced with something you just simply don't understand keep the questions and well meaning comments to yourself! :)
Yes, I AM still breastfeeding, I am NOT weaning her as soon as she turns two, and I am OKAY with both! Now I would love to open a discussion about breastfeeding anytime, but it doesn't have to start with well meaning questions or advice on why and how I should be weaning my breastfeeding two year old.
Love is respecting one's decision whether you agree or not
Love is respecting one's decision whether you agree or not
Respect is understanding where another person is coming from
Understanding a person comes from a place of Love.
No comments:
Post a Comment